05.12.2023 Universals

What is the feeling I feel but can’t explain? Is just one feeling that way, or many? Is that a possible definition of being in love? Does not being able to not ask what is meant by love mean I don’t know what it means? Or is it just the philosopher in me? The fragment of me always on watch for universals which claim to be self-explanatory, but turn out to be in dire need of explanation and critique? I don’t know. I know that part of me has changed considerably this year, but it’s impulse in me remains. In some ways it has gained territory, but the quality of that territory is different, it feels more open, permeable, connected. And there are forces and entities of deterritorialization active in my life at this moment with a high probability of continuing to be so in the future. What does it mean to be in love? How does one know? These are not new questions. They are also not answerable without time and territory. Being skeptical of universals is a condition of survival for me (for M). How will that interact with love? The space behind universals is rich with possibilities and beauty, but it is also uncertain and at times draining. The focus and search for it can lead to disconnection from others acting within the supposed self-evidence of said universals. But the reterritorialization of that space brings me joy, it has made me M. I prefer the fragmentary whole to the hollow whole.